Feel the fury.

So anyway, I realised that I have extremely malleable tolerance levels. For people that I'm willing to tolerate, no matter how stupid/mean they act I still feel no anger or dislike at all. They can scold me directly or backstab or gossip about me and I completely won't flare up.

But for people that I'm unwilling to tolerate (which is about 98% of all people I know) I'm like deodorant. Extremely flammable (okay bad example but you get the idea). And plus the fact that I'm super anal (particular I mean) about every thing, it's a really horrible combination.

I guess that explains why 75% of the known population dislike/hate me but it's okay because my low tolerance level disallows any liking for them anyway. So it's an evil Ihateyou-youhateme-soihateyou cycle but hey that's my life.

Despite all the foul tempers, moodswings, complaints, whining, over dependency and so on, I'm glad to say that I've found friends that have stuck by me through all the bad times and I'm even prouder to say that I've treated every of those rare friends the utmost best I can.

Moodswings. moodswings. moodswings.

I need a place to go to. Somewhere where time never goes on, somewhere where I can spend all my time moping and pondering without worrying about other chores. I have to go, need to go.

I don't know. All my life I've been searching for a change. But for 13 years it has been futile. No matter how much I change, how much I give. Same results come back to haunt me.

I don't wish to impose on anyone. If I'm being a bitch or indirectly forcing anyone to do anything they don't want to, please tell me. I'll understand. I don't want to be the only one left behind, not knowing that I'm just like a foolish abandoned stray that still waits for it's owner.

I need a good long rest.

Going out later, pictures soon, i hope.
Bye.