So anyway, I realised that I have extremely malleable tolerance levels. For people that I'm willing to tolerate, no matter how stupid/mean they act I still feel no anger or dislike at all. They can scold me directly or backstab or gossip about me and I completely won't flare up.
But for people that I'm unwilling to tolerate (which is about 98% of all people I know) I'm like deodorant. Extremely flammable (okay bad example but you get the idea). And plus the fact that I'm super anal (particular I mean) about every thing, it's a really horrible combination.
I guess that explains why 75% of the known population dislike/hate me but it's okay because my low tolerance level disallows any liking for them anyway. So it's an evil Ihateyou-youhateme-soihateyou cycle but hey that's my life.
Despite all the foul tempers, moodswings, complaints, whining, over dependency and so on, I'm glad to say that I've found friends that have stuck by me through all the bad times and I'm even prouder to say that I've treated every of those rare friends the utmost best I can.
Moodswings. moodswings. moodswings.
I need a place to go to. Somewhere where time never goes on, somewhere where I can spend all my time moping and pondering without worrying about other chores. I have to go, need to go.
I don't know. All my life I've been searching for a change. But for 13 years it has been futile. No matter how much I change, how much I give. Same results come back to haunt me.
I don't wish to impose on anyone. If I'm being a bitch or indirectly forcing anyone to do anything they don't want to, please tell me. I'll understand. I don't want to be the only one left behind, not knowing that I'm just like a foolish abandoned stray that still waits for it's owner.
I need a good long rest.
Going out later, pictures soon, i hope.
Bye.
Saturday 12 June 2010
Hello geekers. So, i’m posting about life again. I've deleted my previous blog, as it is so freaking dead. I guess i needa start afresh!
Holidays were up, like 2 weeks ago, and i guess i’m not really enjoying it, many things happened, and my leg still hurts which is the reason why i can’t train, and it’s very boring.
On the other hand, i’m happy because there is loads of geekers by my side whom cared for me, i love you guys ttm but at the same time, there is people making me sad. Well, that’s life, what could i do, i wouldnt go against my fate either. Sorry geekers if i’ve shown you guys any attitudes this few days, showing you guys attitude despite the fact that you guys are actually supersupersuper caring, ishhhh.
--
Warning : The following post is done in a fit of anger. Places, names and events are purely fictional and should not be taken seriously. Enjoy.
FUCKKK MY DAD HAS BEEN DRIVING ME UP THE FREAKING WALL THESE FEW DAYS.
Ever since the renovation, which I've been really happy with so far, he's been throwing away important, useful and sentimental objects. Not only that, he's been nagging incessantly. It's getting on my nerves REALLY BADLY.
It's like even if I clean my table, he will nag because my sisters didn't clean theirs. So in the end, I STILL have to hear that irritating droning and yakking that I can't drown out!
The worst thing is that since my sisters are like never home whenever my dad is, after all, they're off to their respectives holidays except for big sister, SO WHAT? SHE'S NOT AT HOME, SHE MOVED OUT. The arrows my mother and I instead as victims of his horribly annoying nagging. SERIOUSLY, SOMETIMES, I WANT TO KICK HIM IN THE NUTS AND RUN AWAY.
I usually tolerate him because I've given up on having an understanding dad and to me, he's just another man in my life whom I see everyday but have absolutely no need to talk to. Harsh? You wouldn't think that if you were me.
Yeah, I try to see the good side of him, and I do see it. He's a great man with great capabilities. But his bad points shroud the positivity of him so much that I just can't stand him anymore!
He's acting like a freaking woman on PMS! He nags. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. If it's not about our clothes, it's about our books. Yeah well sorry we have to study, do you want to tell my teachers you want to throw my books away because it's making my house too messy? Go ahead man, go ahead.
And dude, just because YOU have the fashion sense of a 3 year old and only update your wardrobe like every freaking 5 years, does NOT mean that we have to follow you, okay?
Y'know what he told me? "So many clothes for what? So pointless and bo liao! Just throw all and leave 2 outfits enough already!"
FOR GOD'S SAKE I WANNA SMASH YOUR FUCKING FACE IN THE FUCKING CLOTHES RACK AND STAB YOU WITH THE SHOE RACK UNTIL YOU BLEED.
Seriously. -_- The pent up frustration of hearing him NAG AND NAG AND NAG for like every fucking hour in the past month I've seen his fucking face just unleashed when he said that.
Excuse me, I stay home and clear up the house and helped you move your freaking things when you asked me and that's all I get? More nagging, and added to that, ridiculous suggestions.
I am NOT going to stay home for the rest of the fucking holidays, I swear. I will attempt to go out every day and sleep whenever I get home. Enough is enough man.
That's my post for Saturday, gna post a new post soon.
Holidays were up, like 2 weeks ago, and i guess i’m not really enjoying it, many things happened, and my leg still hurts which is the reason why i can’t train, and it’s very boring.
On the other hand, i’m happy because there is loads of geekers by my side whom cared for me, i love you guys ttm but at the same time, there is people making me sad. Well, that’s life, what could i do, i wouldnt go against my fate either. Sorry geekers if i’ve shown you guys any attitudes this few days, showing you guys attitude despite the fact that you guys are actually supersupersuper caring, ishhhh.
--
Warning : The following post is done in a fit of anger. Places, names and events are purely fictional and should not be taken seriously. Enjoy.
FUCKKK MY DAD HAS BEEN DRIVING ME UP THE FREAKING WALL THESE FEW DAYS.
Ever since the renovation, which I've been really happy with so far, he's been throwing away important, useful and sentimental objects. Not only that, he's been nagging incessantly. It's getting on my nerves REALLY BADLY.
It's like even if I clean my table, he will nag because my sisters didn't clean theirs. So in the end, I STILL have to hear that irritating droning and yakking that I can't drown out!
The worst thing is that since my sisters are like never home whenever my dad is, after all, they're off to their respectives holidays except for big sister, SO WHAT? SHE'S NOT AT HOME, SHE MOVED OUT. The arrows my mother and I instead as victims of his horribly annoying nagging. SERIOUSLY, SOMETIMES, I WANT TO KICK HIM IN THE NUTS AND RUN AWAY.
I usually tolerate him because I've given up on having an understanding dad and to me, he's just another man in my life whom I see everyday but have absolutely no need to talk to. Harsh? You wouldn't think that if you were me.
Yeah, I try to see the good side of him, and I do see it. He's a great man with great capabilities. But his bad points shroud the positivity of him so much that I just can't stand him anymore!
He's acting like a freaking woman on PMS! He nags. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. If it's not about our clothes, it's about our books. Yeah well sorry we have to study, do you want to tell my teachers you want to throw my books away because it's making my house too messy? Go ahead man, go ahead.
And dude, just because YOU have the fashion sense of a 3 year old and only update your wardrobe like every freaking 5 years, does NOT mean that we have to follow you, okay?
Y'know what he told me? "So many clothes for what? So pointless and bo liao! Just throw all and leave 2 outfits enough already!"
FOR GOD'S SAKE I WANNA SMASH YOUR FUCKING FACE IN THE FUCKING CLOTHES RACK AND STAB YOU WITH THE SHOE RACK UNTIL YOU BLEED.
Seriously. -_- The pent up frustration of hearing him NAG AND NAG AND NAG for like every fucking hour in the past month I've seen his fucking face just unleashed when he said that.
Excuse me, I stay home and clear up the house and helped you move your freaking things when you asked me and that's all I get? More nagging, and added to that, ridiculous suggestions.
I am NOT going to stay home for the rest of the fucking holidays, I swear. I will attempt to go out every day and sleep whenever I get home. Enough is enough man.
That's my post for Saturday, gna post a new post soon.
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